FUNNY
LIFE
CONTRADICTIONS
Funny
life
Our lives are
full of contradictions. That’s why our lives are
often a target for our sarcasm and humour.
Life is just one damned thing
after another.
Elbert
Hubbard, 1856-1915, American writer in
Philistine
Men deal with life, as children with their play
Who first misuse, then cast their toys away.
William Cowper,
1731-1800, English poet, Hope
There are three great events in our lives: birth,
life and death. Of birth we have no conscience; with
death, we suffer; and, concerning life, we forget to
live it.
Jean de La Bruyère, 1645-1596,
French moralist, Les caractères où les moeurs de ce
siècle.
When you don’t have any money, the problem is food.
When you have money, it’s sex. When you have
both, is health.
J. P. Donleavy, American writer,
A Fairy Tale of New York
We
don’t live as we wish, but as we can.
Terence,
190-159 a.C., Roman poet, The Lady of Andros
Life is half spent before we know what it is.
George Herbert,
1593-1633, Scotish poet, Jacula Prudentum
How many lives we live in one,
And how much less than one, in all.
Alice Cary,
1820-1871, American poet, Life's Mysteries.
However many ways there may be of being alive, it is
certain that there are vastly more ways of being
dead, or rather not alive.
Richard
Dawkins, English biologist The Blind Watchmaker
Experience is the name so many people give to their
mistakes.
Oscar Wilde,
1854-1900, Irish writer, Lady Windermere’s Fan
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
Attributed to
Ingrid Bergman, 1917-1982, Swedish actress
All the things I really like to do are either
illegal, immoral, or fattening.
Alexander
Woolcott, 1887-1943, American essayist, cited in The
Algonquin Wits, de R. E. Drennan
I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist
it.
Mae West, 1892-1980, American
actress, in the film She Done Him Wrong
The good die young - because they see it's no use
living if you've got to be good.
Unknown author
Life is a sexually transmitted disease.
Unknown author
Live every day as if it were your last, because one
of these days you will be right.
Unknown author
What’s life unless an escape to death, and what’s
death unless an escape to life?
Unknown author
Death is to stop sinning suddenly.
Unknown author
Comments
To laugh at ourselves
Death is also a theme for our humour
Funny
life
The fear of death is
the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no
risk of accident for someone who's dead.
Albert Einstein,
1879-1955, German-American physicist, em
EinsteinQuotes.html, rescomp.stanford.edu, by Kevin
Harris
A man’s dying is more a survivor’s affair than his
own.
Thomas Mann,
1875-1955, German writer, The Magic Mountain
The fact of having been born is a bad augury for
immortality.
George Santayana,
1863-1952, Spanish-American philosopher, Reason in
Religion
There is no cure for birth and death unless to enjoy
the interval.
George
Santayana, 1863-1952, Spanish-American philosopher,
Soliloquies in England
We should always have our boots on, and be ready to
leave.
Montaigne,
1533-1592, French philosopher, Essais
Comments
To laugh at ourselves
LIFE IS A CABARET (Fred
Ebb and John Kander)
Funny
life
Life has a theatrical side. «Life
is a cabaret, old chum. Come to the cabaret»
What good is sitting alone in your room
Come hear the music play
Life is a cabaret, old chum
Come to the cabaret.
Put down the knitting, the book and the broom
It's time for a holiday
Life is a cabaret, old chum
Come to the cabaret.
Come taste the wine, come hear the band
Come blow your horn, start celebrating
Right this way, your table's waiting.
What good's permitting some prophet of doom
To wipe every smile away
Life is a cabaret, old chum
So come to the cabaret.
I used to have a girlfriend known as Elsie
With whom I shared four sordid rooms in Chelsea
She wasn't what you'd call a blushing flower
As a matter of fact she rented by the hour.
The day she died the neighbours came to snicker
Well that's what comes from too much pills and liquor
But when I saw her laid out like a queen
She was the happiest corpse I'd ever seen.
I think of Elsie to this very day
I remember how she'd turn to me and say:
What good is sitting all alone in your room
Come hear the music play
Life is a cabaret, old chum
Come to the cabaret.
And as for me, and as for me
I made my mind up back in Chelsea
When I go I am going like Elsie.
Start by admitting from cradle to tomb
It isn't that long a stay
Life is a cabaret, old chum
It's only a cabaret old chum
And I love a cabaret.
Fred Ebb and John Kander,
American authors, in the musical Cabaret, 1965
Comments
To laugh at ourselves
See also:
Poems about life
Life and Love
Life and friendship
Happiness
Philosophies
of Life
The Human Beings
Life Best Years
Life is Dream
Back to Top - Funny Life
Back to Home Page - Meanings of
life